My Journey to Motherhood

August 12, 2008

BFN

Filed under: Fertility Monitor — Serendipity @ 2:26 pm

So I turned my FM on this morning and it flashed with an “M” which means that my period is due any day now. So I tested using a Clearblue DigitalTM test and it came up with the definitive “Not Pregnant”. So I guess no bun for me this month.  I know its still a few days early, but if I’d tested using a cheap pound shop test and it had come back negative, then I might still think I’m in with a chance, but Clearblue DigitalTM is the only brand I trust, so if it says not pregnant, I believe it.

I just really thought that this month might be it. I’ve been feeling rough as hell, my skin has been really horrible, and even my boobs were starting to feel a bit sore. I guess it was all psychological.

I know of teenagers, 17 year olds, actually trying to get pregnant. To me that doesn’t make sense. How can they provide a stable environment for a child? They can’t have had chance to save any money, they can’t really be established in a job, and probably haven’t got a mortgage. They probably don’t have any life experience, and if we ask ourselves, how many of us felt ready for a child at 17, and are any of us with the same person we were with when we were that age? Some of us might be, and we might have married our childhood sweethearts, but that isn’t widely heard of in this day and age.

My point is, I’m 27, I have a 3 bed semi, I have a good job, my hubby has a fantastic job, we are married, we have a big family car, we have a dog, we have the perfect little set up for a family. The only problem is, the family is the only thing we are missing. It’s not fair. Especially since I was pregnant and it got taken away from me.

People are saying to me that I should give it a few more days to see if another test comes up positive, but I know in my heart that it won’t 😦

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